How to Talk to a Programmer

In my world, I spend a lot of time translating between normal human speak and programmer speak. And by programmer speak, I don't necessarily mean C# or visual basic. I mean programmer speak: the language used by programmers to communicate project goals, time lines, possibilities, solutions, etc. You don't have to know all the codes for colors in HTML, and you certainly don't have to know what HAL's favorite color was. You do however have to keep the following in mind:

1. Pretend like you think they are smarter than you. They think they are, so you might as well appease if you want the job done.
2. Be as specific as possible. They can smell a far fetched idea 18.2 miles away.
3. They think your "big ideas" are bogus. Remember that. Be discrete.
4. They probably are pretty bright in more ways than knowing how to concatenate two fields, so don't act like they're robots either.
5. If you want to "put pressure" on them to finish something, don't copy them on the email where you told your co-worker you were going to do it. (Ok, this goes for just about anyone).
6. Be realistic but firm about deadlines. Too quick and you'll get hostile response. Too lackadaisical and it will never get done.
7. It helps to have some basic knowledge of the soft/hardware you are working in to make this communication smoother. Consider taking a course in the "back end" of whatever it is you're working on.
8. Use sentences.
9. Hire me.

The funny thing is, I hate hate hate the phrase How-to. It is colloquial and stupid sounding. Use "process document" or "instructions" or "manual" or "guide" ... but How-To? It's like some awful bastardization of German syntax. Please.