How did I get this way?

This at least puts into context my frequently parenthetical writing. Well except that the following lovely letter written to the Tech department of someone's firm was given to me in confidence and was requested to be shared "without attribution" (I'm not even sure I'm supposed to be sharing it at all, but whatever. The author can always request that I remove it. I don't recall a confidentiality statement. Ok, maybe I do and this is strictly prohibited. So sue me.). So let's just say I know this person and have somehow miraculously either rubbed off on his poor soul or he made me this way. One or the other. [Disclaimer: Some details have been changed to preserve the author's anonymity. ]

I think we should get a refund (at least partial) from HP. The batteries on these laptops are apparently defective.

This is the second time that I have borrowed a laptop that was "prepared" by our MIS (or IT or whatever it is called now) department (the "department") wherein I have boarded a plane with work to do and the battery is so dead the machine will not even turn on. As a result, I will do the work I was to do on the plane, during semi-normal working hours, beginning at about 1am when I get to my hotel.

I am sure the department has a checklist of things it does to prepare a laptop. And since nothing could be more fundamental to the utility of a laptop than that it function while on your lap, I am equally sure that "check battery" is a high priority item on that list. Even if the department wouldn't have done it before, I am certain that after my last experience and resulting bitter tirade, the department made sure to charge the battery on this machine that I specifically requested be loaded with a presentation file for me to review before my speech tomorrow.
I am sure the department has a checklist of things it does to prepare a laptop. And since nothing could be more fundamental to the utility of a laptop than that it function while on your lap, I am equally sure that "check battery" is a high priority item on that list. Even if the department wouldn't have done it before, I am certain that after my last experience and resulting bitter tirade, the department made sure to charge the battery on this machine that I specifically requested be loaded with a presentation file for me to review before my speech tomorrow.

We should explain to HP that it just doesn't matter how many gigaflops the thing can do if it can't turn on. They have to understand that no matter how "sweet" or "advanced" or just plain "cool" the software and active extra great bitchen screen are, none of that matters if the battery won't stay charged from the department to the plane. They apparently need to be told (maybe this is the much vaunted difference between book smart and street smart) that all the ports, speakers and connectivity in the whole cyber universe is only junk to lug around like a monkey on your back, or an albatross around your neck (certainly a pain in your shoulder) if the battery is dead.

If HP says some kind of nonsense like that a traveler should carry extra batteries and transformers on to the plane, we should object. If they are going to market these heavier than normal laptops to --- firms, they have to understand that [professionals] get on planes with tons of paper, notebooks and other stuff so they can't be carrying on batteries just to have the machine run for an hour or two (or in this case to even power up at all).

Please let me know how I can support the department in seeking compensation from HP. Maybe we should talk to [Mr. H] about a class action because I know a lot of firms use HP computers. My old firm also uses them, although theirs were lighter and I never had this problem even though I traveled all the time. Anyway, please let me know how I can help.